Unexpected elation, at last
Walking home from work today I was filled with a long-lost sense of... elation, I guess I could call it. I’m not sure what brought it on, but it sure felt good. The first day at work without Taneli was kind of nice, too. I was busy all morning so the time went pretty fast and it didn’t feel so tiringly useless.
Yesterday night before Markku left we had a conversation in which I was able to sum up my bouts with depression and on-going search for “myself” fairly briefly. I take this as a definite good sign that I’m coming to terms with this whole, uh, period of my life.
Right now I’d like to concentrate on being studious, as in really getting stuff done, generous, as in truly giving of myself and “my posessions” without feeling used, and generally sensitive to both my feelings and the feelings of others around me.
I’d also like to learn Python, whip Avaruus Edit into shape (so that I can, for exampe, use it for this blourgnal), and start writing so much that I lose my appreciation of single words and sentence contructs. Treating writing as something that happens by slashing open a creative vein is not exactly condusive to a) learning how to write, or b) writing for a living.
Yesterday, not much
Last night Elexa and I went to see the Finn-Brit Players showing of Dario Fo’s Accidental Death of an Anarchist, of which Misu was the costume designer slash make-up and hair stylist.
An intense performance running almost three hours in length, one woman in the audience exclaimed that she got tired from just watching the actors work. I could relate.
The play was fitted with references to current affairs and the actors broke from their roles several times making references to the play-wright and acknowledging the audience, which was interesting, but not really as effective as similarly layered intertextuality in movies.
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