Have you ever been interested in someone you know that you shouldn't get involved with?

There's this girl... I like her—and I feel there might be something special there—but there seems to be so many reasons not to pursue our growing relationship. The reasons are practical and common sense, but they're also very real ones.

Everyone always says that I should follow my heart and trust my feelings. And I believe this too. But now it just seems like I should know better. I still have bad feelings from my last relationship and I'm not sure I'm ready to date yet. I start feeling panicky when I think of getting into another relationship. The end was so tumultuos and hard last time. Sometimes I even shudder when I think of dating.

I don't what will happen. Right now I'm just letting things flow, doing what feels good. But I'm a little afraid of swimming out too far and not being able to swim back again.

I seem to be in some sort of design rut. It's either that, or I'm just a mediocre designer. Everything I do is just... so plain. I've been hexed so that I always want to build simple, jam-packed, vertically dominated, white-black-red sites. I'm a little frustrated, especially since I used to think of myself mainly as a designer.

I have lots of friends who have bands. None of them are terribly successful, no breakthroughs yet. But I think it's great that they are all trying. Maybe it has to do with the fact that for seven years of my life I was in a special music class. So, in fact, were my younger brother and sister.

I know lots of really creative people. People who are dedicated to their art/craft/interest. I wonder though, is this an age thing? Late teenagers and early twentysomethings are basically just waking up to the world. They have dreams—and they have time to pursue them. Is that the only reason why so many friends of mine want to be writers, artists, actors or musicians?

Right now I'm about to graduate from a visual arts school. It's somewhat equivalent of a high school, so it doesn't mean that everyone who goes to our school will be painters or sculptors or graphic designers. But there's a lot going on. I like it. It never ceases to amaze me.

I just wrote a long piece that Blogger lost... Damn.